Deconstruction

After a routine bone scan, they found "abnormal uptake on my frontal calvarium."  If you would have seen the images, it looked as if someone put a huge target on the front of my skull.  My heart sank....here we go again.  MRI scheduled.  Anxiety at the highest! 

Great news....no mets!  My body has decided to go into an overload of marrow making in the front part of my skull. I really hope that is a good thing.  Thank you Mr. Cranium for setting me into a near nervous breakdown.  I would love to send a letter of resignation to the cancer cell committee to tell them I am through with their major threats!  I can now return my living will back in the safe.

In two days, my chest will be in the hands of Dr. Lewis Andres as my deconstruction will take place.  My emotions are calm at this time, but I anticipating change by tomorrow afternoon.  I am amazed at how many woman have had their chests tattooed after this surgery.  I appreciate the art, but I am not sure I could do it. My confidence lacks this time.  I had a conversation today with a friend of mine who asked me if I went back and re-read my journal from my first surgery.  I told her I had not, but I probably should.  She mentioned she remembers writing, "it is not as bad as I was expecting."  She is correct, I remember saying the same thing. I also remember many times cursing and swearing in the dressing rooms.  One day at a time.

Glad I could get that off my chest....