10,000 miles to tears

As quoted by Sue Monk Kidd:  "...I can't tell you who I am without telling you who my girlfriend is.  Our relationships with other woman are a part of the ground of our being.  So I can't say who I am without talking about my female friend and who she is in my life."

I sat by the pool today thinking about a cherished friendship that is about to move from 25 feet to 10,000 miles to Indonesia.  Bonnie and I met when Mom was building her home here in Anthem. Our friendship came easy, as true friendships should.  Our children have spent the years growing up together.  Bonnie's attitude is like mine....what you see is what you get.  You will never question where you stand with her.  She will give you the advise you never want to hear and love her for it.  She is honest, stubborn, independent and caring.   She is a friend every woman should have...if you can handle complete honesty.  I adore her honesty.

We have laughed, cried, bitched and moaned.....and wined.  And I mean WINED.  We wined while laughing, crying, bitching & moaning.  Good wine, bad wine....wine, wine, wine.

Bonnie, John, Kate & Syndey are a second family.  Maia has never had to "miss" anyone other than Nana & Pop-pop.  She told me tonight that she is sad they are moving.  The best explanation I could tell a six year old......"It is Ok to miss someone.  It just means you love and care about them."   Little does Maia know how it breaks my heart to see them go.I will not give the Wilmot's a "goodbye", but rather a "I will see you soon."  I can guarantee over the next few weeks enough tears will be shed to make a new ocean.

Stayaway Weekend

High gas prices seem to have kept many people staying closer to home. We are one of those families. We went to Cave Creek/Carefree for an overnight stay at the Carefree Resort. To make the weekend more enjoyable, KMLE Country Radio station was also at the resort. We participated in ping pong ball pickup competitions, frozen tee shirt contests (children were present.....to rectify.....you had to pry apart the frozen tee and put it on) and a scavenger hunt. The scavenger hunt paid off...we won the grand prize. Three tickets to Professional Bull Riding finals in August, a road trip guide and a Microsoft GPS System. Maia enjoyed roasting smores by the fire. Following sticky faces and fingers was a old western gunfight. Great time to stay away!

Rebirth as an Adult

I wrote this in my journal on April 22, after we shaved my head.

Looking in the mirror after shaving your hair is rather shocking. It left me with the same feeling after I gave birth to Maia. You spend months doing everything you can to protect the child growing inside of you. The hours you spend running your hands over your belly, knowing it is your childs shelter. Then, overnight, your hands run over a flat surface that once protected everything you once and prayed for to be healthy. Your child is now in the open and all you can do is hope and pray the choices you make will be the best.

You run you hands over the hair that once protected you. The hair is gone, but your body is the shelter that you now pray will turn out for the best. It is the shelter that houses the love, nerves, laughs and cries visible to the world. What is inside is the making of the child. The inner child you learn to know all over again.

Decision to blog

While driving to my 4th chemo treatment, the inspiration to do this webpage came from a friend and coworker in Tampa, Debbie. She shared her pages with me and I thought this would be a good way to keep everyone posted my progress. I have kept a written journal since my diagnosis. I plan on transferring some of my better pieces to this webpage.

I realized today I am over the halfway hump of my treatment. The "now what?" and the "what if's?" are starting to ponder my mind. After my final treatment on July 30th, CAT scans will be performed to make sure the cancer has not metastasized. We don't believe it has, but it will put my mind to ease.

As my chest has received another 50cc's of fluid, I am starting to look like I did in 6th grade. Watching your chest increase is a rather strange process. I guess it is the only time in my life I will be able to try each cup size out....better yet....without a bra!