Unknown Part II

It has been almost six months to the day I had my mastectomy. Waking tomorrow, I will have my final phase of this battling process. So, this evening I ponder the thought of what my body will look like this time when I wake up. I will awake with boobs. What if I don't like the shape or size? What if they feel funny? The expanders in my chest hurt some days, will the actual implants hurt? Such questions to consider...womanhood!

I must give many heartfelt prayers to the women I have met who are not this far and still have a long way to go in their recovery process. We all have our own stories and timelines. We met due to an unpredictable circumstance, but we become stronger by those who have entered our lives due to the unknown. We can share our stories and never feel envy, jealousy or comparison. We know this is where our own paths may go, so we absorb it, learn from it and pray for health.

I can come home tomorrow and tell Maia that Mom's hard chest has been replaced and prove to her the new ones are not "long and squishy!"

Getting back to normal

Yes, it has been a few weeks since I have updated the site. The family took a short trip the other weekend to Lynx Lake in Prescott Valley. Maia has never slept in a tent, so we opted for one overnight stay at a campsite. We rented a boat and enjoyed some time on the lake. Maia was not to happy when the boat rocked the slightest bit. It was "freaking me out", as Maia would say.

Behind the dam is a short hiking trail that runs along the creek. We took a short hike to the bottom to try to pan for gold. I decided to take off my sandals and put my feet in the water. Upon slipping on a rock, I fell butt first into the creek up to my armpits it the water. It was rather hilarious. The softball size bruise on by butt cheek did not find it quite as funny.

The evening was splendid. We took a short hike around the lake, went back to camp and cooked a few marshmallows. Great ending to a perfect day. I can't wait until the weather cools off to take a few more hiking trips.

I forgot how much solitude lies within the forest. Crisp pine air, thousands of stars and even a crescent moon. And the hoot of an owl to make it surreal. Natures therapy.

Belated Birthday

Many long awaited months have passed to celebrate a wonderful birthday dinner. My father and stepmother sent my brother and I a gift certificate for a lobster dinner.

The chemo drugs are slowly diminishing and my tastebuds are back....no better time than the future than to enjoy a wonderful meal. And a wonderful meal it was!

We ordered four, five pound lobsters. They were delivered around 2:45 Friday afternoon. Maia was freaking out everytime she heard the claws scratch against the box. Neither Chase, Oliva or Maia wanted to hold them. I guess in a childs eyes they can be scary looking.

I borrowed a restaurant size pan to cook them in...two at a time. The first two went in without hesistation. Lobby number 3 felt obligated to try to jump out of the pan. It would not have been so bad, but the pot of butter(which was turned off by now...all 3lbs) was sitting next to the lobster pot. A small bit of water hit the pan of butter and eruption occured! Butter, butter and more butter everywhere! Clean up later...time to eat!

Living in Arizona, we enjoy lobster when we can. The proper instruments to eat lobster are hard to come by. Hammers, plyers and wooded skewers work just fine to pick a lobster. Rich and Jeremy broke, twisted, cracked and pryed every morsel of meat for the rest of us to chow on!

Messy, messy and more messy...but every bite was enjoyed. And every bite will be remembered. The left overs...yes, we had leftovers....have been frozen for the next dinner of lobster bisque.....pounds of it.

So thank you again Dad and Karla, we enjoyed every moment.

Now it is time to call Merry Maids for the clean-up committee.

Final Countdown...

I have made it to the end. My last chemo session! I walked out of my oncologists office and cried. Cried as a sign of relief, cried for the unknown of the next five years, but most of all cried out from victory. Victory to say I am a survivor.

I can soon start to enjoy walking at lengths again. I can drop the ten pounds steroids have given me! I can finish the scrapbook I started without feeling "foggy". I can deal with what God puts in front of me. I can support others. Most of all, I can make a difference.

I will have my official celebration when the side effects of this last treatment have subsided. I have been patiently waiting to indulge in a lobster dinner from my father and stepmother. I can't think of an easier way to celebrate!

Aunt at 6

Maia is happy to announce she is an Aunt! Christine and Rob are the proud parents of Shelby Lee. She was born on July 1st. Weighing in at 5lbs 4oz. She is still in the hospital, but getting stronger every day. Get ready for sleepless nights!

5 O'Clock Now Where??

There is a wonderful place in our neighborhood called the Eccentric Gourmet. Phil is such a pleasure to speak with, always smiling. He knows your likes/dislikes in wine. He is the man to go to for food pairings. Lets not forget his wonderful wife Linda. Sweet, sincere and genuinely kind. It has been a great place to grab a glass of unique wine, a great cheese plate and have good conversation without "bar" atmosphere. Phil's is a neighborhood institution!

I needed a few refills on my olive oil and balsamic vinegar collection. So, off to Eccentric Gourmet I went. Bottles in hand, I walk in to find Phil his happy go lucky normal self and Linda rearranging shelf items. The shelves seemed a little barren, so I asked if they were restocking. Not really. All that I keep hearing is "No, we are closing." My mouth could have swallowed the earth at that point. I said to the woman sitting next to me, "This is about as upsetting as the day I found out I have cancer!"

To Phil and Linda....you have brought people together by common interest, quest for good wine. You have become a staple to our vocabulary that will not be erased. May your endeavors be true to your heart and your hands never have an empty glass......Cheers!

Bras for Flip-flops

As the 4th of July weekend is underway, so are the sales. There are only a few styles my body can accommodate at this point in time. Frustration, you bet. I can shop for items that can be worn from the waist down. I have given up trying on shirts other than tees. Sun dresses...gave up. Fitted, pleated, cropped blouses.....out of the question. The expanders in my chest are starting to show, but not the way the permanent implants will. I feel like I am wearing hockey pucks in my chest.

I have traded shopping for shirts into shopping for shoes. Coldwater Creek had a smoking sale on the cutest flip-flops. So since I can't buy bras for my chest, I guess I can buy bras for my feet!